Stupid words
by notagoodplace4gods
Summary: "The nerdy puns are bad, but I actually enjoy listening to you talk." He says and Wally's world stops. He knows these words. " AKA the soulmate AU fic no one asked for.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: this is based on that soulmate AU post made by satan, the one where instead of your soulmate's first words to you written on your skin, it's their last words you ever hear them say. And yet I somehow made it have a happy ending so yay

I also had some Ollie/Dinah feels, okay.

xxx

"So earlier today, you know, when everything was still normal and the world wasn't ending, I went to my school's chemistry lab to meet the TA." The air is thick and dirty around him and Wally can't really breathe, but he keeps going. He thinks about the amused look on Robin's face and continues. " I asked if he had some sodium hypobromite and he said NaBrO." He begins laughing, but the laughter soon turns into the most horrible coughing fit he had in his entire life and the moment's gone.

A hand reaches for his back, weakly petting it and Wally leans into it, he leans into his best friend because this is it. They're dying, the world's ending and everything hurts so much. Maybe it's selfish of him, but he needs it; he needs to be reassured that he isn't alone.

"Sorry, dude. I shouldn't have, I mean, now's not the time and...I'm sorry." He mumbles and squeezes Robin's hand.

"It's okay, KF." Robin's voice is weak and Wally feels immediately bad for him. The boy wonder shouldn't be talking, he should be resting and regaining his strength so they could last a few minutes longer. "The nerdy puns are bad, but I actually enjoy listening to you talk." He says and Wally's world stops.

He knows these words. He has these words written across his arm. These are the last words his soulmate will ever say to him, the words he waited his whole life to hear and it's from Robin. No, not Robin, this is Dick, this is his best friend and, apparently, his _soulmate_ and Wally wants to cry. But crying hurts, so let's not.

"Dude, it's you." Moving unlocks a whole level of hell, but he does it because he needs to look at the other, he needs to tell him that _it's always been you,_ but everything explodes.

xxx

Wally would like to say that the reason he makes the best (or the worst, depends on your point of view, really) chemistry puns is because of the words. He'd like to say he learned all the puns so he could say it to everyone until he finds the one. But truth be told, he makes stupid puns because he _likes_ them.

The soulmate thing is a bonus. The "I enjoy listening to you talk" is a super duper hyper mega bonus because he's often (read: always) being told that he talks too much.

He knows he's not supposed to find his soulmate until he loses them because that's how the words works, but he can't help feeling curious and anxious and just dying to find the one person in the world who doesn't mind (and actually enjoys) his never-ending _gibberush._

He tried to wait like everyone else, but time passes incredibly slow for a speedster and it's absolute torture, which lead him to make up a plan to cheat the words, to force them out of people. He goes after M'Gann with _"come on Megs just one chemistry joke to make your day better"_ but she always politely declines, saying that since she still hasn't managed to get a hold of Earth's science, she won't be able to understand and fully appreciate the jokes.

Wally follows her around and says he doesn't mind explaining them because the words in his arm says nothing about her needing to understand the jokes so it's okay, maybe someday she'll say it and, until it happens, he just needs to keep on trying.

He even asked her if she enjoyed listening to him talk, once, and that is definitely cheating and a lot of wishful thinking on his part, but you can't blame him. He's a speedster. Waiting is not his thing.

"Your voice is nice, I guess." She says, instead, and Wally feels like punching a lot of walls.

Robin finds him before he can even start and convinces him that going for a snack is the best way to go. It doesn't actually take a lot of convincing, it just takes a "hey, KF, are you hungry?" and Wally's sold.

They're in their civvies at Wayne manor and Wally's on his tenth pizza slice while Dick is doing his math homework. The joke comes out of nowhere, but it hits him in a flash (ha) and he laughs so hard, he almost chokes on the mozzarella.

"What?" Dick asks, still focused on his work.

"I just thought of the best pick up line ever, oh my god."

Dick snorts, but spins in his chair so he can face the redhead.

"I am so regretting this, but do tell."

"Well, you're doing your homework and it's about differential equations, right?" At Dick's nod, he goes. "I could say something like I wish I was your different equation homework so I'd be really hard and you'd be doing me on your desk."

Dick opens his mouth to say something and then closes it and then opens it again.

"Problem is M'Gann isn't taking advanced calculus, so you might want to rethink that."

Wally's probably seeing things because Dick's blushing and _what._

"I'll work on it." Wally shrugs. "But that was good, right? Shit, I need to write this down before it escapes me."

"Dude, no, that was bad. The nerdy puns are bad." Dick chuckles and Wally's heart races.

He said the thing. Not the _whole_ thing, but there's still time. He could still finish it, he could say it all and be Wally's soulmate and Wally just needs to wait for it...

"But?" He sucks at waiting.

"No buts. Your nerdy puns are bad, final." And that's it. That settles it.

Dick is smiling at him and his eyes are so blue and Wally really wants to call the overwhelming feeling that takes over his whole body relief, but it's not quite.

"I... I think I better go, Rob, it's late."

He doesn't wait, he runs back to Keystone as quickly as he can and collapses into bed. It doesn't take him long for him to fall asleep, but he doesn't get any rest. His dreams are troubled and he keeps getting haunted by blue eyes and unfinished sentences and only when he wakes up he realizes what he's feeling. It's not relief. It's disappointment.

The disappointment turns to absolute horror pretty fast, though.

Robin is his best friend and he can't have a crush on his best friend. Worst case scenario, Robin is disgusted and never talks to him again. Best case scenario? Robin laughs his ass off at him and calls him a joke. All scenarios are bad scenarios because Robin doesn't like him back. Wally isn't delusional, he knows there's a lot of things that are wrong with him; he can be a lot annoying and stubborn, his freckles make him look like a kid who hasn't gone through puberty yet and he _talks way too much._ Robin couldn't possibly like him back, they're not soulmates or anything so why would he?

xxx

Dying hurts like a bitch, but being dead hurts a whole lot more. The realization that he loved Dick, that he's always loved him, that Dick thought his jokes were bad, but enjoyed listening to him talk filled him with the best feeling in the entire world; the mere thought of Dick maybe, just maybe, loving him back was _everything._ For a second there, he had everything, but then it was taken away in a blast of light and energy and pain. Wally never got to tell him, Wally never got to hold him or kiss him or make up for all this time he's been stupid and in denial. He wants to cry, he wants to yell at the injustice of it all, he wants to punch himself in the face, he wants to _fight,_ to challenge destiny and god and the universe, but he can't do it. He can't do any of those things because he's dead.

When Wally opens his eyes, the Flash's there.

"Hey, kiddo, can you hear me? Are you okay?"

Oh, no, no, no, no, The Flash can't be there. Uncle Barry can't be dead too, except for the fact that he is. He died in front of Aunt Iris and oh, my god, aunt Iris...

"Hey, hey, it's okay, don't try to move. Wally? Wally!" The voice grows worried, but Wally isn't paying attention to it. He shuts his eyes and tries to forget everything he's just remembering. Uncle Barry, Aunt Iris, the entire Justice League, they are all gone. And then there's Artemis. Kaldur and Conner. And Robin. _Robin._

"Kid, Wally, just breathe, you're not..." The Flash is still talking, but Wally can't see him anymore, there's just a lot of tall shadows moving around him and he feels a slight discomfort in his left arm. There's someone emptying a syringe in his arm and his vision blurs.

The speedster blinks and blinks again and, when he accidentally notices Robin a few beds away from him, he tries his best to focus. Robin's yelling something at Batman and he looks angry, angrier than Wally has ever seen him. Batman replies in a whisper and Robin's suddenly looking at him, from across the hall.

Wally smiles and the last thing he sees before everything turns black and quiet is Robin's trying to get out of bed and mouthing his name.

xxx

The next time he wakes up Flash and Batman explain to him he's not dead. They explain how the simulation got out of control, they explain about how none of it was _real_ and advise everyone on the team to talk to Black Canary about what they've experienced. Uncle Barry stays a little longer with him and apologizes, even though it wasn't really his fault, hugs him and offers his sidekick/partner all the ice cream he can eat. Wally forces himself to smile at his uncle because Barry deserves it.

The whole team's benched for a week, until they talk about what happened or at least stop moving around like they're zombies and get their dynamic back to normal.

Wally's restless. He understands that this is serious, that the simulation forced him and his friends into a situation destined to fail, no matter what, and that the trauma needs working on, it needs time to heal and Wally knows that, but he absolutely hates waiting. He wants to go back to how things were before the failsafe training, he wants it fixed and he wants it now, without having to _talk_ about it. He doesn't want to talk to Robin and, judging by the way the kid's been avoiding him, the feeling's mutual.

"I'm okay, everything's okay, I don't really know why I'm here." He tells Black Canary after she shuts down his lame pick up lines. "Look, I understand the need for a mission destined to fail. As superheroes we must learn to deal with failure and death so this was training. We did our bests in that situation and there's nothing I regret doing." He pauses for a second and tries not to think about the words. He squeezes the spot on his arms where the words are and feels them burn him, from under his shirt.

"Then help me understand why you feel so uneasy." Black Canary gets up and kneels in front of him. "Wally, you're hurting himself." She takes his hand away from his arm and holds it, to keep him from scratching it.

"What do your words say?" Wally mumbles and regrets it immediately because it's personal and why would she share it with him?

"It says _Don't worry about me, pretty bird, I'll meet you guys in no time,_ which means the idiot will probably sacrifice himself to save me or something."

"Wait, wait. How do you know who will say those things to you? I mean, you can't know who your soulmate is before you lose them, that's how it works, isn't it?"

"I know who it is."

"How?" Wally's growing desperate.

"Because I know how I feel about him and I know how he feels about me." Dinah smiles. "It helps that he already calls me pretty bird and is a reckless self-sacrificing dick, but... Wally, you can't let those words dictate how you live your life because, when you finally hear them, it means it's all over."

"I heard them." The redhead only realizes he's crying when he lets out a sob. "Right before we died, he... He said it to me and I just..." He clenches his fists. "But then I woke up and people keep telling me it wasn't real, that it was all fake and maybe it was because we're not really dead and it didn't mean anything, but the... the _words."_

"Oh, Wally." She gets up, pulls him into a tight hug and only lets go when he stops crying.

"I'm sorry, dammit, I didn't mean to break down on you like that." Wally presses his closed fists into his eyes, trying to get rid of the stupid tears.

"It's okay, Wally, but we need to talk about this. It's important, so please bear with me for a few more minutes. When Robin said your words, did it..."

"Oh god." Wally forces out a laugh. "Please don't tell Batman."

"Did it surprise you? Were you shocked? Do you think it came out of nowhere?" She keeps pressing.

"No, it sort of just... confirmed everything." Wally says when he realizes that the only way he can get out of this room is if he comes clean. Plus, talking to her kind of helps. "I mean, he's my best friend and I've always... Loved him, but in that moment, the moment he said he liked to listen to me talk, it just... It was like fog lifting and I finally realized _how much."_

"The mission might have been fake, but feelings never are. Wally, you got what nobody else gets. You got a confirmation and a second chance. I know this can be overwhelming, but don't let it go to waste."

Wally nods and then keeps avoiding Robin for the rest of the week.

xxx

He keeps avoiding Robin until he can't anymore.

"Dude, that was horrible, how are we supposed to be a team if we can't even work together anymore?" He goes after Batman's sidekick after a practice gone wrong.

"Well, then maybe you should stop being in denial and pretending everything's okay and just go talk to Black Canary about it like you're supposed to!" Robin snaps at him because everyone knows he didn't return to the therapy sessions after the very first one, but keeps walking away.

"I don't want to talk to Black Canary, dude! I want to talk to you!" Wally explodes and _that_ makes Robin stop to look at him. "Or are we going to pretend the thing in the mother ship never happened and we're not soulmates?"

Robin pushes him to the nearest wall and has a hand over his mouth before he can say anything else.

"KF, someone could hear you!"

Wally bites his fingers and gets an opening to reply. But he keeps his voice down, this time. "And so what? It's still true. Rob... You... You said my words."

"Let's go to my room, it's soundproof and we'll get to talk there."

The minute they get in, Wally takes his long-sleeved shirt off. Robin manages to close the door before questioning him.

"Dude, what the fuck?"

"I want you to see it, it's right here." He extends his left arm and reveals the words.

Robin's reluctant, but he eventually comes closer and touches it. Wally closes his eyes and breathes out. It feels good, it feels right for the whole second it lasts, but then Robin's hand is suddenly gone and Wally opens his eyes, unconsciously missing it.

"Dick." He calls.

"I have words too." The boy wonder's grip on his shirt tightens so hard his knuckles turn white.

"Show me." Wally ends the distance between them and takes his best friend's hand away. It's the 'let me see your eyes' debate all over again, but, much to the redhead's surprise, Robin doesn't fight him this time. With his other hand, Wally lifts the shirt just enough to reveal tiny words written across his lower abdomen. It says _dude, it's you,_ and Wally laughs. He had forgotten what he'd said in response to Robin right before they died, but now it's pretty obvious that he couldn't have said anything else. Of course it's Dick, it's always been Dick.

But Robin just pushes him away.

"Wally, do you have any idea how long I've waited to hear you say it?" He's not looking at the other. "And you almost did, so many times. There were times in which I'd give you a scare with my ninja training and you'd be like 'oh my god, it's you, dude,' or 'dude, it's just you' or 'dude, it's you again' and it was always wrong, but so close and I couldn't help the way it always made my heart race. I was scared I would never get to hear you say it, but then I was terrified I would, because hearing it meant I was going to lose you and I didn't... I couldn't have that, okay?"

Wally takes a step towards him, but when Robin makes a negative gesture, he comes back.

"And then you said it and we died, but it was all fake, Wally, don't you get it? It was fake. The mission was designed to fuck us up in the worst way possible and it did."

"Or..." Wally cuts him off, gently. "Or, it just gave us a second chance. Dick, no one has ever gotten the confirmation about who their soulmate was and got to live it with them, but we do. And, yeah, okay, I was a little bit overwhelmed at first, but... Why can't we just be _whelmed_ about it? It's a second chance, bro."

Robin laughs and finally _finally_ looks at him.

"You really believe that?" The boy wonder's the one to take the first step towards his best friend and suddenly they're on the floor and Wally's on top of him.

"Yes!" He says it, over the moon with happiness. "Dude, you're my best friend and my soulmate, what more could I possibly want?"

Robin laughs again, kisses him and _this._ Wally wants to do this again and again and forever.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** An amazing beautiful anon sent me this on tumblr and I just went along with it:

"For ur soul au imagine dick/wally FINALLY a couple but now that theyve said their last words they wonder what eachothr would REALLY say when they die. They can't warn eachother about their fate like dinah can w ollie and they getrlyoverprotectivekbye"

The ending's sad because I'm a bad person and my beta encouraged me, okay? So, if you're looking for a happy ending, don't read the last part of this chapter.

Special thanks to Maya for being an incredible beta and fangirling with me.

xxx

"You're a dick." Wally tells him the moment the boy wonder opens his eyes. Nothing hurts anymore and Robin knows it's something to do with how much morphine he's on, but, _hey_ he's not complaining.

"Shhhh... Dude, what did I tell you about secret identities?" Robin smiles at him and tries a joke because while Wally's hand is petting his hair, his face doesn't look whelmed at all, so, you know, mixed signals.

"You're a dick." Wally repeats, stops the petting and _ah,_ now it's clear as day. He's angry, which probably has a lot to do with the fact that Robin has almost died, and Robin prepares himself for the _'you shouldn't have done that, you idiot'_ talk that is bound to come. "But I kind of love you."

Robin blinks and waits for Wally to continue because that can't possibly be the end of it.

"No, scratch that, no 'kind of's, I really do love you, okay?" Wally sighs and rests his forehead on his boyfriend's chest.

Robin lets his hand up in the air for a few seconds, unsure of what to do, then he pets Wally's back and tries not to think about the look of horror on his boyfriend's face right before he passed out on the mission.

"I love you too, Kid Idiot. It's kind of a soul mates thing, you know?" He says and feels Wally's lips turn into a smile, brushing against the skin of his bare chest. "But are you really letting me off the hook that easily? I was expecting a _that was reckless of you, Rob, I could have taken that blow because I heal real fast so don't you ever do that again, blah blah blah."_

"Yeah, I was about to, but then you'd go all _yeah yeah your accelerated healing doesn't make you an invincible meat bag. Now stop being a hypocrite because you know you'd do the same in my shoes. We're supposed to have each other backs."_ Wally tries to imitate his voice and Robin bites his lower lip, because while Wally got his voice wrong, the words were right; that's surprisingly close to something he'd say. "And then I'd say something like _yeah, you're right, I'd do anything for you bro. But that doesn't make it okay._ because it doesn't. And then we'd be really mad at each other and not talk for days and I can't have that. I almost lost you, Dick." He raises his head and green meets blue.

"Wally..."

"So can we just lie here instead?" The speedster cuts him off and looks away, hiding his face in the curve of his boyfriend's neck. The hair tickles a bit and Dick can't say no to that, so he holds the redhead and kisses the top of his head.

xxx

He doesn't get the talk from Wally, but from Batman.

"That was incredibly reckless, Dick, you could have jeopardized the entire mission. What were you thinking?" He demands to know, but the boy wonder can't give him an answer. He doesn't know what he was thinking, he doesn't know if he was thinking at all. He saw the guy aiming at Wally and his body just _moved._

He accepts the punishment without complaining and, when his mentor finally leaves, he punches a wall.

Robin knows it was poor decision making, rationally he knows that he should have let Wally take the hit as a distraction and attack the guy when he was least expecting it, but he just couldn't. He couldn't risk it.

He remembers what Wally said to him right after they arrived. He was talking about how excited he was about spending the weekend at his uncle and aunt's, because Barry promised him the complete detailed story of the last time he's been off world with the league. Robin had laughed at him and called him a fanboy. It was their usual normal banter, but these could have been the last words they ever said to each other.

Nice thing about dying on a fake mission? He got to hear Wally say his words and confirm his best friend was also his soul mate. The bad thing about dying on a fake mission was that now there's no way he could possibly know what Wally's _real_ last words to him are going to be. It could be anything, it could happen anytime and he just can't risk it.

He knows it's stupid and highly impractical to live in fear of the possibility that something might happen to them, he knows it's damaging to the team's dynamic and that it could compromise not only the mission but also everyone's safety. His job on the last mission was to neutralize the bad guy, using his ninja skills to go undetected, and he failed. Luckily, according to the mission report he just read, Aqualad got there early and intervened, but what good is he to the team if he can't be trusted to follow instructions? How can he expect to lead his own team someday if he can't think rationally whenever his boyfriend's concerned?

Last mission was strike three and he's sure Bruce is counting. At first he's surprised Bruce only told him off, his mentor didn't threat to force him out of the team even though he had every right to do so, but he soon understands; Bruce trusts him to arrive at the same conclusion by himself and to do what is right.

Dick isn't dumb, he knows what he has to do; he needs to get over it soon or he and Wally won't be able to work together anymore. The thought of quitting the team, of leaving his friends, makes his heart ache and Dick would most definitely like to _not do that._ but he'll have to if this whole situation keeps spinning out of control.

He tries to think about how his life will be without going to the Mountain. He's grown used to the smell of M'Gann's burned cookies, to Superboy's constant moping, to Artemis and Wally's bickering and to Aqualad's exasperated sighs. He's grown used to having Wally greet him with a quick peck on the lips and the biggest, warmest smile, and if he quits the team, he won't be able to see his boyfriend so often.

They've been inseparable since the failsafe simulation, and maybe some distance will do them good. But maybe it won't. Dick fails to understand how not seeing his boyfriend is going to help with the anxiety, the relentless worrying that something may happen to Wally when he's away.

He's back to reality when he hears someone knock on his door and in enters Wally. _Speak of the devil._

"Hey, Dick, Alfred let me in, I just wanted to check on you, is it okay?" Wally asks and Dick doesn't have the heart to tell him that he's the last person he wanted to see today, or maybe he doesn't say it because it's a blatant lie.

"Yeah, I was trying to do my homework, but can't seem to focus on it, so your intrusion's welcomed." Dick smiles at him and Wally's suddenly there, sitting on the bed by his side, shoulders bumping and a hand on his own.

"Homework while Batman's out on patrol? Dude, are you grounded or something?"

"I'm not grounded. I'm benched."

Wally snorts. "And what's the difference?"

"The difference is that benched sounds a lot less humiliating than grounded, okay?" Dick slightly punches Wally on the arm, and the heartwarming laughter that follows makes him feel better about _everything_ already.

He was afraid of things being awkward or tense between them after another display of reckless, almost fatal, overprotectiveness. He doesn't want to worry or burden Wally with his problems and doubts about the future. Wally, as a speedster, constantly lives on the _right now,_ and it's rubbing off on him because right now they're together and Wally's laughing and everything's okay. It feels good to have at least one thing in his life that's not falling apart.

The boy wonder tries to imagine a world in which he doesn't listen to Wally laugh at least three times a day, and in the majority of scenarios his mind makes, he ends up becoming a bitter paranoid others, he ends up becoming _Batman,_ and that was something he always wanted to be until recently, until the failsafe simulation, in which he had to sacrifice everything he cared about.

Wally hands go to his boyfriend's face and they're kissing. It's slow at first, but Dick raises his hands to touch Wally, and he wants to touch Wally everywhere. He wants to explore every inch of skin he can reach and the kiss turns possessive and desperate and he needs to keep reminding himself that _Wally's here._ Wally's here and it's okay. Everything will be okay. Everything needs to be okay. Please.

"Whoah." Wally smiles against his lip and gently pushes him away. Dick's first instinct is to go after him in order to end the painful distance between them, but Wally's hand keeps him steady. "Dude. Dude, I'd love to stay here and make out with you, but I need to head back to Central City."

"Why? Can't you stay over?" Dick hates how his voice breaks, but forces himself to carry on. "We could play some games and pretty soon Alfred's gonna start making dinner, so..."

"Are you trying to bribe me with Alfred's food, Rob? Because that's evil." Wally holds his hand.

Dick squeezes it and looks away. "I just want you to stay."

"Yeah, I'd stay if I could, bro, but uncle Barry wants me patrolling with him today. If I don't show up there, he shows up here, and two speedsters in Gotham in the same place at the same time surely goes against one of Batman's orders."

"Yeah, it does." Dick says, but holds his hand harder. He thinks about the million things that could happen to Wally after he leaves. Maybe tonight's the night Central City Rogues break their vow not to kill while fighting Flash and Kid Flash? Maybe an alien radioactive meteor will fall down from the sky and wipes Barry's house out of the map? He knows he's being ridiculous and blowing this whole thing out of proportion, but he can't help it. Anything could happen and "yeah, it does" are going to be the last words he ever says to Wally.

"See you tomorrow, okay?" Wally replies and gets up, but doesn't try to pull his hand back. Instead he leans to where Dick's seated and kisses him again. "Love you."

This kiss is a bit different this time, it's slow, but not hesitant. Dick tastes the love right on Wally's tongue and it's sweet, but at the same time there's a hint of longing and longing's always bitter. Thinking that everything was okay with Wally was stupid and very naive of him, because of course the redhead's struggling and freaking out just as much as he is. Wally's smart (and that's something everyone keeps forgetting, himself included, apparently,) and he probably already knows that if they don't fix it, they'll have no other choice but to leave the team. His boyfriend's dealing with it a lot better than he is, though.

Because Wally, knowing that these words could be their last ones, makes them count.

"I love you too." Dick lets him go, watches a streak of yellow and red leave the manor from his window and feels slightly better. 'I love you's make good last words. They don't know when it's going to happen, it could happen today, tomorrow, five months from now, five or fifty years from now. It's impossible to know so Dick's going to have to keep telling his boyfriend he loves him and that is definitely something he can do.

There are worse fates than that.

xxx

"Shit." Wally says when another flux of energy from the Crysalid hits him. He knows what's happening, he knows why it's happening; he understands that being the slowest speedster makes him an escape valve and he's surprisingly okay with it. Well, mostly okay with it. "Dick's going to kill me."

"Kid!" Barry yells after him, and then turns to Impulse. "Bart, we need to slow down."

"Uncle Barry, it's okay. There's nothing you can do, don't blame yourself. Just please tell Dick I..." Wally closes his eyes. He's still running, but he can't feel the lower part of his body anymore and the nothingness seems to be spreading. "Oh, he knows." He still feels the 'love you too' whispered against his lips. It feels good, for the eternity of a second and then _nothing._


End file.
